Automobile-Sized Refridgerator! That's A Great Idea!

Chevy ridin' high.

That’s A Great Idea!

from the 1961 Home Handyman Encyclopedia & Guide.

I’m a DIY enthusiast, I really am. I prefer to build things for myself rather than buy them, and if I can do so in a timely manner, I will. I like solving problems, and improving things, I think all makers do. But there’s solving a problem, and then there’s creating the solution to a problem you never had in the first place. Really though, this article in no way provides solutions of any kind. In every way it is an invitation to frustration, humiliation, and failure.

According to Popular Mechanics this refridgerator is “Considered an accessory for automobiles of the future.” Wow, what an amazingly accurate prediction! It turns out they were absolutely right…if you’re a rapper, a billionaire, or a limousine driver.

I need that fridge for my purple drank.

I need that fridge so I can get paid to drive rappers around, otherwise my child support check will bounce.

If you’re not, like me, it turns out its a useless waste of time, money and space. Really the whole design has three fundamental flaws:

You have to cut a larger refrigerator in half to make it fit in your car.

That’s right. Remember, its 1961, the mini-fridge is still an accessory of the future.

Jack Daniels Mini-fridge

What's that officer? Oh, I need it in the car so I can keep my whiskey cold.

They recommend starting with a small apartment size refrigerator, one that’s say… 5 feet tall. Then the intrepid home improvement expert should cut off the bottom and the top, remove the middle and reassemble it into a smaller unit. If a welder is not available, simply use sheet metal screws and epoxy!

I guess air tightness and insulation was of secondary importance to having a bitchin’ car fridge.

Your DIY fridge hack involves releasing the coolant from the fridge straight into the air.

NASA projection of ozone concentration if we all added refridgerators to our cars.

Ozone Layer? What ozone layer? This is the sixties, you can still buy bottles of liquid mercury in a drug store (more on that later).  All that coolant will just harmlessly dissipate into the atmosphere. Won’t hurt a thing.

I guess they forgot to put in the articles “How to replace your windows with UV resistant glass,” and “Do-It-Yourself Sunscreen.”

“Because the compressor-unit motor will draw from 6 to 25 amperes, it is not advisable to run it very long with the car motor shut off or it will drain the battery.”

Um…so you can’t let it cool down unless the car is running? So in exchange for losing all of my trunk space, and having a noisy fridge compressor inside the cabin of the car…I get a cooler…unless the car is running, and then its an actual fridge. I can just imagine camping with this amazing labor saving device…

Timmy: “Dad can we go hiking now?”

Dad: “Not yet son, I have to sit here with the car running for an hour, so the hotdogs don’t go bad.”*

While, I’ve stated before that the Home Handyman Encyclopedia & Guide is a work of inspired genius, it is not without its minor flaws. I’ll be back next week with more of the volumes best. Next Week: Electric Motors.

*On the way home, Timmy would tragically be crushed by camping gear stowed in the back seat, along with the family dog.

The Home Handyman Encyclopedia & Guide is ©Popular Mechanics. Stills from Lil’ Wayne’s “Lolipop” music video © Cash Money Records
All images used for purpose of review, and/or satire.